Him

Innocent and immature
hoping for his love
broken and lost
in a world of her own

Wishful thinking
every night and day
losing credibility
in the dreams of day

A princess in his eyes
guarding her innocence
he walks in her dreams
the perfect man.

Stupid

Playing without knowing
how stupid of me
acting without a script
how stupid of me

Head up in the sky
how stupid of me 
soul within walls
how stupid of me
Masking in invincibility
only to my eyes


Naked and laughable
in front of his eyes
not wanting to bow down
the heavy head of mine

Waliya

Violence was never my thing and I used to back away from any situation that contained it or tried my best to make peace amongst the parties involved.
However, yesterday at uni I had front row seats to a waliya that made me witness some bone chilling real action for the first time of my 23 plus years of existence.

There had been a few waliya here and there in uni but I was never there to witness them and only heard the stories and the rumours that supported them.

The event yesterday happened right before my eyes and I had no way of backing away from the scene. I had my eyes glued on the scene that is unfolding like a child to a cartoon airing on tv. But deep inside it scared the shit out of me seeing how my friends let their inner beasts out and fought amongst themselves.

The idea of how the people who used to laugh together for some lame jokes, make fun of each other and have fun together, are able to beat each other with iron rods is still inconceivable to me.

Maybe I'm thinking too much into a situation which doesn't need to be thought much of. But, this is me being effing sentimental and protective over my friends who made me feel protected in ways unknown to them.

When one party in the fight had a few words to share about me, my friends and all near me came up to me to stand in a protective stance making my insides explode with pride towards them and curl up with fear for them at the same time. However, the situation didn't end up in a mess and my friends were left unharmed. 

But I cannot say the same about the entire event yesterday.

The blood lust I saw in their eyes, the strength with which they fought amongst themselves and the anger they directed towards their frenemies were the only things I seemed to have noticed yesterday. And I felt like we are not the better species. Even with a working brain on top of our heads we still end up paying homage to our original beastly selves when the situation slightly changes. 

For my brother from anther mother

I'm not that much of a writer but I do have my own stack of papers with poems and stories that I've written out of boredom, hidden somewhere in my room. The last time I held a pen must have been about three years ago and since then, I've not come across the urge to put my thoughts into paper. But since this very close friend of mine (kira) insisted that I should start on it again..
Here goes nothing..



Unlocking

The door once closed
Never to be opened
gets unlocked and opened
at her confidant's words

The rush feels new
She feels odd
but she continues on
for the sake of him

The feel of the pen
on a paper
The sound of the pen
on a paper
brings back pride
she once lost!

20th Birthday!

On the eve of my 20^th birthday, I take this very very deep breath, become very serious with that very serious frown I put on when confronted with difficult situations; and think, what the hell have I done for 20 years of my life? (Of course I didn’t do that. I was talking hypothetically.) I was at a blank. Not very unusual for me, though. Then I think back, waaay back...

How beautiful childhood was! Playing with sis and quarrelling at the smallest of things, which we still very proudly do. Doing everything you wanted and not worrying over it. Phew! Wish I enjoyed those days more. Wish time never travelled.

Anyways, since my parents were cousins before marriage I’m only blessed with two cousins close to my age and I happen to be the eldest in the lot. So, the occasional visit from them always called for celebration. After all, you get tired of playing with the same person after a while ne. There were some other playmates as well, the kids of some family friends and some very very distant cousins. When we get-together it was fun and always playtime. So, basically my childhood was spent playing and doing nothing else than that.

As a young adult I wasn’t that very impressive. Always in the mid 20s in the class of about 40 students. Always a reason, why a teacher would come screaming into the class. Forever carefree!

When everyone else was studying vigorously for the O/Ls I was busy watching movies on the internet and reading books at the dead of night while pretending to be studying (which I’m doing right now as well). The result however was not so great but okay-ish.

Those days I started doing stuff. Meaning, I started swimming, tennis, some IT courses, music and so on. But whatever thing that I started, I stopped them mid-way, gave up and went back to square. I’m not so proud of those actions, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. If I’ve lost interest in something I just can’t tolerate it anymore. Hah! It was bloody easy to just type it than say that in front of a group of people who will be moaning over my irresponsibility.

But that attitude of mine was overpowered by A/Ls coz I just have to do this no matter what I felt about it. Right now, I’m in the midst of writing for my second shy coz I flunked it the first time. I also have a paper on Monday which I’m not so sure I’ll pass. If I’m on the way for a third shy I’ll definitely update my blog.

In conclusion, looking back at life of 20 years was colorful in its own way. The little incidents which bring a smile to the lips are the most treasured memories of years gone by. I’ve had my share of joy and sorrow. Looking back, it seems everything was nice and neat but I wish I can say the same about the future. On the eve of my 20^th birthday, I wish to have a decent future, which someday I can look back and smile.