Marriage and what not

2019 has dawned and already one and a half months have gone by. It's been ages since I was able to pen my thoughts and on my fourth Valentine's Day with him, I thought why not. 

Time has literally flown by. I am actually nearing my thirties and uni seems like it happened in another lifetime. 

The previous year, the subject of most of my posts, my partner in crime and my inspiration in many a things became my life partner legally. Well congratulations for him for making that wise decision. 

I am a complete marriage novice, but I still have some experience on this life. 

It is not at all what you thought it would be. This is the very first lesson I learnt.

With that one signature you place you are now legally responsible for another person. This can be very tricky since all through out your existence every little decision you make was literally made with the aid of your parents. And suddenly, you are on your own (but technically with him). 

You are also awarded with a whole new bunch of gossiping relatives who wants to know when you are going to have your first baby at the very first time you meet them. Just imagine some middle aged women draped in rich sarees and wearing all the gold they have, coming up to you at your own wedding function to say 'Congratulations putha, now when are you going to give us cute babies?'  Yes. Dumbfounded and open mouthed. That was how I looked most of the time during our wedding reception.

Living with the in laws can be a challenge too. Imagine, you are one pampered, precious daughter of one house hold who is cherished dearly and suddenly, you are the daughter-in-law of another completely new household. Every household has different traditions or ways of life and it takes time in getting used to them. Unlike when you are at home, you are always under the watchful eyes of someone of their house. You always have to double think every move you make. But of course they do not mean ill and they are not rude, they are also just being wary of the new member in the house. And actually with time you start getting cozy with your in-laws too. Life is not always bitter grapes, you see. 

Marriage is basically a whole lot of changes to your normal, routine, peaceful life. You get to see how your partner actually lives, the real side of him, and mind you that is quite far from the side you meet on a date before marriage. Yet, you gradually open up to him on things you never thought you would and so does he. 

Even with all of that what matters the most is that your bond grows stronger and your heart feels warmer at the end of the day and you still keep on loving him since he's still that prince you desired. 

And Five months since our signature placements, with many ups and downs, we are still continuing this journey with hopes for a future together in every blessing and every sorrow.  

A Wish

A wish upon a star

Too close to be far

Refused as bizarre

Leaving a goodly scar

Her benign desire

not what he require

robbed of her by kin

Cast away by him

One may need it 

other may not

one may believe in it

other may not

The greatest love of all

conquers them all

with a need to forgo

the endless brawls

He claims he concedes

to all her insane deals 

to which she remains

wordless and lost

but what can one say

when 

a girl starts to dream

the stars will be too close

for her to reach

Hurt

He spoke of his days
grandly spent
no witty comebacks
she could afford that day

She listened with a heart
pierced and burnt,
tears rolled down
her big fat cheeks

Shocked at his doings
regret is expressed
with tears in his heart
for the girl he loved

Trivial events
though he claimed
she was in pain
for the betrayal she felt

A matter so small
she later figured out
awareness was the key
for the pain to subside

A promise never uttered
but made nonetheless
broken, yet it stands
of this confusing lad

Confession

The fluttering heart
the unfocused gaze
towards his heart
I walked the path

With worst in mind
and nervous at his sight
I babbled on for a while
till I saw him smile

The feared need
he wanted indeed
time to comprehend
his inner feels

Wishes were granted
though never required
he came back to admit
that his heart was mine!

Elated and overjoyed
I finally realised
that I am truly and madly
in love with this blissful being!

Just..

For the guy who is wracking up his brain in search of his feelings, I hope that you find them and get back to me within the time span given.

Let's end this indicisiveness and move on to a new phase.

But I hope you think only of yourself and come at a decision. Good luck finding yourself!

The video below gives what I wish to say right now to you, but cannot. Hope you get it..

First meeting

Being granted a bottuwa to uni, I was undoubtedly the awkward, new girl in the crowd until my bestie came along to play the role of the middle man. Thanks to her I wasn't having my usual new place, new difficulties disease till very late.

It was the first lecture with a group activity. And I hated the idea of group activities with a passion because I'm very socially awkward. However, this group that I was in consisted of about 15 to 20 people, some who looked fairly familiar to me, some friends from school and my bestie. Thus, my awkwardness was given the back seat.

It was then, that I saw him first. With a perfectly sculpted face, extremely thick eyebrows, a chiseled jawline, a sharp nose and a gaze that can see right through your soul, he was sitting at the center of the group in a maroon and blue t shirt that emphasized his facial features. He was the man of any girl's dreams.

I was giggling intensely at anything and everything, craving for his attention. But so were all the girls in the group. And yes, the attention was given, but not to me, but to a friend of mine who oozes beauty and innocence. The attention didn't last long, but it lasted enough to get all of us excited.

He was pretty much aware of the effect he had on all of us, as were the case with many insanely handsome people.

He had so many ideas to offer regarding the activity, and apparently became the main speaker while the others just fooled around.

I lost interest in the activity and started digging up information on this insanely gorgeous dude with the rest of the girls. He was apparently attending the same private uni that I was attending at that time, which lead only one word to appear in bold in my head, 'destiny'!

I was asked a question regarding the activity out of the blue and the entire group fell silent. And that was my cue to act as awkward as I can physically manage. The question forgotten, I only saw his eyes on me. I was blushing a shade of pink that I never knew I can achieve. A few minutes into my awkwardness he answered for me. I felt like the ground beneath was slipping away from the amount of embarrassment I faced.

And that was my first meeting with the first man I've ever come to love.

Him

Innocent and immature
hoping for his love
broken and lost
in a world of her own

Wishful thinking
every night and day
losing credibility
in the dreams of day

A princess in his eyes
guarding her innocence
he walks in her dreams
the perfect man.