For my brother from anther mother

I'm not that much of a writer but I do have my own stack of papers with poems and stories that I've written out of boredom, hidden somewhere in my room. The last time I held a pen must have been about three years ago and since then, I've not come across the urge to put my thoughts into paper. But since this very close friend of mine (kira) insisted that I should start on it again..
Here goes nothing..



Unlocking

The door once closed
Never to be opened
gets unlocked and opened
at her confidant's words

The rush feels new
She feels odd
but she continues on
for the sake of him

The feel of the pen
on a paper
The sound of the pen
on a paper
brings back pride
she once lost!

20th Birthday!

On the eve of my 20^th birthday, I take this very very deep breath, become very serious with that very serious frown I put on when confronted with difficult situations; and think, what the hell have I done for 20 years of my life? (Of course I didn’t do that. I was talking hypothetically.) I was at a blank. Not very unusual for me, though. Then I think back, waaay back...

How beautiful childhood was! Playing with sis and quarrelling at the smallest of things, which we still very proudly do. Doing everything you wanted and not worrying over it. Phew! Wish I enjoyed those days more. Wish time never travelled.

Anyways, since my parents were cousins before marriage I’m only blessed with two cousins close to my age and I happen to be the eldest in the lot. So, the occasional visit from them always called for celebration. After all, you get tired of playing with the same person after a while ne. There were some other playmates as well, the kids of some family friends and some very very distant cousins. When we get-together it was fun and always playtime. So, basically my childhood was spent playing and doing nothing else than that.

As a young adult I wasn’t that very impressive. Always in the mid 20s in the class of about 40 students. Always a reason, why a teacher would come screaming into the class. Forever carefree!

When everyone else was studying vigorously for the O/Ls I was busy watching movies on the internet and reading books at the dead of night while pretending to be studying (which I’m doing right now as well). The result however was not so great but okay-ish.

Those days I started doing stuff. Meaning, I started swimming, tennis, some IT courses, music and so on. But whatever thing that I started, I stopped them mid-way, gave up and went back to square. I’m not so proud of those actions, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. If I’ve lost interest in something I just can’t tolerate it anymore. Hah! It was bloody easy to just type it than say that in front of a group of people who will be moaning over my irresponsibility.

But that attitude of mine was overpowered by A/Ls coz I just have to do this no matter what I felt about it. Right now, I’m in the midst of writing for my second shy coz I flunked it the first time. I also have a paper on Monday which I’m not so sure I’ll pass. If I’m on the way for a third shy I’ll definitely update my blog.

In conclusion, looking back at life of 20 years was colorful in its own way. The little incidents which bring a smile to the lips are the most treasured memories of years gone by. I’ve had my share of joy and sorrow. Looking back, it seems everything was nice and neat but I wish I can say the same about the future. On the eve of my 20^th birthday, I wish to have a decent future, which someday I can look back and smile.

Isolation

Hair gets thrown around

Eyes focus

The rush starts to creep in

The mind gets cleared

Everything eases

World slows down

She moves faster

Elated and overwhelmed

Ground backs down to the past

She moves to the future

Joy wins her back

While sorrow loses

Yet,

Hot and sticky

Long lines

Streaks down

Leaving the mark

On her red shot cheeks

She realizes,

The desperation

The urge

For

Another somebody

She realizes,

The distances worthless

The pleasure short lived

And

The isolation.

Exams!

What is it with exams that makes you not want to face it? Is it the stress, the feeling that you are just going to crash down the second you get the paper, or is it the fact that you just don't give a damn about facing it? In my case, I'm positive that it is the second. Poor me!
It is said that once you experience failure you get so determined to succeed. Clearly that fact had escaped me. I am still the same insane person blindly killing away time, as I was, back in my first league (or maybe even worse).
With less than 2 more months for the exams, (I'm biting my nails now) all I do is cut classes and surf the net. (how impressive!) There is another thing that helped me to reach these heights, it is day dreaming. I can go on and on day dreaming for hours. (That would fall into my 'talents' category.)
No wonder I'm called the kalakanniya in the family.

1st Post!

This would be my very first post. Yey!! :D With merely a month more to the EXAM I'v started a blog and hope to continue posting. How insane am I? Well, I hope to put my insanity right out in the open in days to come. ;)